Jumping through hoops is for circus animals
Life would be so much easier if I could learn how to jump through hoops. Not doing has been a character flaw I’ve had since birth. Teacher’s told me to question everything and then became irate when I asked why?
Where others backed their books, did the assignments and prepared for lessons, I was the kid doing his homework in the playground, a few scribbled lines instead of a page. Term marks were one of those hoops I didn’t understand.
The school said I was intelligent and had to work hard so that I could go to University. I had other ideas. I wanted to work and had no intention of staying in school for any longer than I needed to, far too many rules.
Even when I started working, the first thing I was told was “You’re really bright. It would be a waste not sending you to college, maybe even university.” What was wrong with these people?
Once, I even tried to do what they asked and went back to school. I’m big, loud and noticeable. When I’m bored, I become even more noticeable. When I’m in a room with a halfwit, who doesn’t know the subject they’re teaching, I’m obnoxious.
Probably the main reason I started to write is I love to entertain. Of course I’d like to get rich from it, but I need to enthral and make people laugh. I can be a show-off, always craving an audience.
I wrote, wrote and wrote again until I believed I had something worth showing to the world. The time had come to publish. After a few queries I found the route to the audience was barred by publishers and agents.
No problem, I’ve got a good product (I thought.) After a few rejections, I started to research more about what these people wanted. I knew it had to be modern (tick,) well written (tick), grammatically correct (tick), targeted at the agent’s market (tick).
Then I started to notice the weirder conditions coming out in blogs, tweets and interviews. “If I see ‘was’ on the first page, I reject it.” “If I can touch two -ly words with two fingers, I give it two fingers.” One
that really cracked me up was, “I hate books with a character called Isabel who is called Izzy.”
To the best of my knowledge I’d never break a law, but I don’t get along too well with rules.
Mathematics is governed by laws, such as, BODMAS. Publishing appears to be governed by rules. When the runaway successes of recent years ignore them, there’s little incentive to join the game.
For me, when a story is done. It’s done. I’m not going to revisit it to rework the style, remove or add characters because somebody else feels it might help. I need to file the job away and move on.
This is why I decided to self-publish; I’d rather have a smaller audience now, than keep waiting for the gate-keepers to give me a chance to play on the big stage.
What’s it cost so far?
I don’t count the cost of the writing course. That was about three hundred pounds and proved the best money I’ve ever spent. I loved it and when it finished, I seriously considered going back to do it again.
I needed an editor to work through the story with me, a cover and ISBN’s. So far, that totals six hundred and twenty-five pounds. As leisure activities go, I think this is acceptable.
The biggest cost by far, is time. That’s a commodity I don’t have enough of.
Writing time is my most precious. I try to guard that, but often find I can only manage twenty- thirty minutes a day. Oh, the delight of a client at the end of the train line, rather than up the M6.
The editing, I originally thought was boring, but now appreciate as part of the creative process. Michael Angelo didn’t hack David out of a block of stone with a single massive chisel. He used increasingly finer, more delicate tools. I swap from screen, to paper, to Kindle as I progress, going around the loop about three times.
Preparing the documents for publication has been fairly trivial. The Kindle format took a couple of days. Createspace will be easier next time, taking about five days. One of my biggest glitches was that I’d not included the first three pages, copyright, title etc. They took hours to get right.
By far, the most begrudged cost is the time spent marketing. I know I should love it. Whilst I’ve already hinted I’m an extrovert. Seeking an audience has always been on my terms. Marketing is staying active, regardless of how I’m feeling.
If I didn’t see Dawn French and Richard Madeley doing Breakfast TV, I’d feel hard done to. They have to get up, wear makeup and appear cheerful at that god-awful time. Hang on, that’s how my day starts …
Amara's Daughter by E H Howard
One Liner:
Swords, Sandals and Sex – High fantasy on speed
Blurb:
Carved from ice with blades of fire, the rigidly feminist state of Serenia breeds heroes. Unimaginably perfect, Amara the Magnificent, the legendary Ultimate Warrior is their greatest.
Five years since Amara’s mysterious disappearance, her daughter, Maryan, struggles to escape her mother’s formidable shadow. Shunned by most, her only friends are oddball characters from the edge of society.
The Queen sees Maryan as an asset to the nation, a pawn to play with and a pretty bauble to appease the neighbouring king, but lurking beneath the surface, an ancient terror plots to wipe out Maryan’s bloodline.
Friend, lover, and more, Amara’s Daughter is a turbulent, rite of passage story tracing Maryan’s growth from naive schoolgirl to the woman destiny needs her to be.
Extract:
On the arena floor, Asti dropped her full weight through her knee on Barag’s windpipe. A short stab wedged her tiny scissors deep into the man’s left eye. She stood up and pounded them into his brain with her heel.
In the silence that followed, she pointed at the Queen. “If you won’t honour our traditions, maybe it’s time for us to change the leader of our nation.” Keeping her back rigidly straight, she marched purposefully across to the shadow of the tunnel.
Nobody moved and nobody cheered. The body of the fallen man twitched in a growing pool of blood.
Biography:
Living in Cheshire with my wife and our two dogs (Milly and Molly,) I’ve run a successful computer consultancy for many years. The business continues to thrive and I feel blessed that people pay me to solve complex problems for them.
One day, we hope to spend a portion of our year on the Greek islands, where I would love to spend most days writing, but for now, I’m content that with three adult children, I’m being presented with grandchildren at a fabulous rate.
I split my writing time between short stories and novels. I love to take the challenge of creating a viable story in a reduced number of words for flash competitions.
At the top of my list of all-time favourites are CS Lewis and JRR Tolkein. Following them are Robert Jordan and Trudi Canavan, with a whole host of modern writers cramming up behind, including Kim Harrison (Hollows series), Margaret Stohl/ kami Garcia (Caster Chronicles) and Ben Aaaronovitch (Rivers of London.)
Links:
Website:
Blog:
Facebook:
Amara's Daughter is available from:
Twitter: @ehhowarduk
25 comments:
Best swimming pool cleaning company in Riyadh
Cleaning pools
The cheapest swimming pool cleaning company in Riyadh
Zain for cleaning the swimming pools
We are proud of our best Assignment Help Singapore experts because of their dedication providing continuous support to students by helping them meet deadlines and scoring better grades. We understand how important academic assessments are in developing a student's career and future opportunities, this is why we take extreme measures to ensure that all our solutions are best-in-class. All students looking for assignment help Singapore can reach us and avail the best online Cost Accounting Homework Help from our academic experts. Our primary motive is not only to provide you with the best help but also to make your journey smooth. The increasing importance of writing assignments has prompted students to take a helping hand from assignment writing services. During higher studies in colleges, students often have to prepare multiple documents, quizzes, and surprise tests. This is the main reason why most students search for Managerial Accounting Homework Help over the internet and choose only the most proficient and trusted academic writing experts.
We are proud of our best Dissertation Help Online Singapore experts because of their dedication providing continuous support to students by helping them meet deadlines and scoring better grades. We understand how important academic assessments are in developing a student's career and future opportunities, this is why we take extreme measures to ensure that all our solutions are best-in-class. All students looking for assignment help Singapore can reach us and avail the best online MBA dissertation Help from our academic experts. Our primary motive is not only to provide you with the best help but also to make your journey smooth. The increasing importance of writing assignments has prompted students to take a helping hand from assignment writing services. During higher studies in colleges, students often have to prepare multiple documents, quizzes, and surprise tests. This is the main reason why most students search for Dissertation writing help over the internet and choose only the most proficient and trusted academic writing experts.
ABC Assignment help is the finest assignment help company offering reliable assistance to students across the globe. Our team of subject-specific writers are available 24x7 with their expertise, experience and dedication to provide professional academic writing service for assignments, essays, coursework and more.
Read More - college homework help
I love how the blog is organized and would like to belong to this community for life, nice work to the admin and keep the spirit moving. I am an
SEO
Writers
.
instructor led online training is of different types, which includes classroom training, webinars, one on one training, and virtual ILT. Acadecraft has a team of immensely experienced and professional content developers who are responsible for the creation of top-notch Online instructor-led training material.
Does your Python Homework Help the team work in a centralized office or are they hired on a need basis? I worked with a C assignment help expert from your programming assignment help team and he was very professional. He took all his time to ensure that he understood all the concepts in C programming. With such people, your team will go far and you will get a lot of recommendations for the great work you are doing to help students pass their exams as well as understand what they didn’t get in class. I am sure you must be having several Programming Coursework Help experts who even provide Java Assignment Help and C++ Assignment Help.
What happens when I hire an expert from your Programming homework help team and then the project I wanted to complete is changed by the professor and I am required to do a different one? I hired an independent Python Homework Help expert on a similar thing and he required me to pay twice. First to pay for the canceled work and then for the new one. I would like to know whether you have exceptions in such cases. If there are options, what are the options? I need to hire Programming Coursework Help experts to get C homework help, C++ Homework Help and Java Homework Help this year.
I think your post was simply directed to me. I did very poorly in my first years and so this time I need a Matlab homework help expert to help me improve my performance especially on signal processing. If it’s possible, I would like to get a practicing Matlab assignment help tutor. I believe he would understand what is expected of me in the market. More to that I want the tutor to handle my assignments as well. Let me know what it would cost for both.
Hi. I am looking for statistics assignment help and finance assignment help right now. If you can provide me this help please let me know what your rates are so that I can join accordingly. Please also tell me about your economics homework help and accounting homework help as I want to study that as well. I am waiting for your response. Please reply at the earliest for best experience. I will be very grateful if you can help me with math homework as I have heard a lot about your services.
Having gone through your website I am sure that you are good enough. I have checked two of your samples and I like the work already. I want to get an A in my international economics and I believe you are the right economics assignment help expert to guide me in that. If I get an A in this first one then you will be my permanent economics homework help expert.
OMG! I’m so amazed by the article you have provided. It is so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Dear Hackers, I have good news for you all. If you want to learn the pro tips and tricks of hacking, then Techohalic is meant for you. Hurry up!
Fantasy Power 11! Thank you for sharing valuable information. Nice post. I enjoyed visiting this post… Play Carrom Game Online provides the best opportunity for earning money.
Ajabgjab is biggest hindi website for hindi shayari, hindi spiritual stories and other hindi articles. Visit ajabgjab.com for unique content and best stories. Domain Authority Kya Hai
We have beautiful motivational good morning images for good morning wishes. For any good morning blessing images you can check our collection of free good morning hd wallpapers. Sambhaji Maharaj Original Photo
This is a really good idea especially for those new to the blogosphere. Short but accurate information Thank you for sharing this. Posts to read! I am sharing an authentic post that you can read where you don't know Mechanical Keyboard Keycaps and Its Variations. Please refer to the title space bar clicker
Mathematics aspirants can now have access to their subjects and assistance during the time of examination. They can solve their queries in a matter of minutes by visiting Mathematics Online Exam Help. A Vast course of study guide and materials are placed and can be accessed by subscribing to Finance Exam Help and Online Exam Help, Experts handle each user and their queries on priority and provide quick resolution. The ratio of faster resolution is much higher as compared to other websites.
You are offered a complete bouquet of end-to-end short-term and long-term self drive car rental in Bhubaneswar by some of the leading agents in the transportation industry. Get the full benefit of bike rental in Bhubaneswar without worrying about the distance. You are provided roadside assistance in every booking. You just need to call.
Really an amazing blog, thank you a million times for sharing this with all of us, you actually realize what you are talking about! uniuyo past questions download, visit Best Rated Educational Update Portal in the World; Examination and Academic Guide, High Paying Jobs & Scholarship Website.
Indulge in the allure of the backwaters with our Alleppey Houseboat Packages. Lumiere Holidays invites you to experience the charm of Alleppey's waterways in style and comfort. Navigate through picturesque canals, enjoy scenic vistas, and relish delectable cuisine on our well-equipped houseboats. Create lasting memories in Alleppey's serene paradise.
Mental stimulation achieved through exercise prevents boredom and behavioral issues in caninesmore articles on k9nerds
We respect you taking the time to compose and distribute this piece. I really appreciate it. Check out this fascinating article Spacebar speed test. My goal is to surpass my own space bar clicking record.
As your trusted DMC for Rajasthan, we offer expert destination management services to enhance your Rajasthan travel experience. Our local insights, personalized itineraries, and seamless logistics ensure a memorable journey. Discover the vibrant culture, historical wonders, and natural beauty of Rajasthan with confidence. Explore more at Go Rajasthan Travel and let us be your gateway to the treasures of this magnificent state.
Ignite Speech offers specialized Autism Treatment in Odisha, providing tailored therapy programs to support children with autism. With expert therapists and a compassionate approach, they ensure the best care, promoting development and enhancing the quality of life for children and their families in Odisha.
Post a Comment